February brings awareness of teen dating violence to parents, friends

By way of introduction, let me start by saying that I am the Chief Prosecutor in Milam County for cases that involve domestic violence, child abuse, child pornography, and trafficking of children.  

There are other cases I prosecute, but this list pretty much gives you the flavor of my work as part of your District Attorney’s Office.  

As such, I can tell you firsthand that this epidemic of violence is happening right here in our community.  I see it every day.

February is Teen Dating Violence (TDV) Awareness Month. 

On one hand, I am glad we have recognized the need for such a thing, but on the other hand I am deeply saddened that we actually need such a thing.  Your elected District Attorney, Bill Torrey, and the staff at our office have put together a team who are dedicated to prosecuting these cases, but the only way to truly defeat this problem is to have community involved by learning the signs and signals from victims and perpetrators and acting on those signs and signals to prevent the abuse. 

It’s important that we know a few of the most common misconceptions about TDV:

• TDV is rare. - WRONG

• TDV is not a problem in my community. - WRONG

• TDV only happens to girls. - WRONG

• TDV only happens to women of color. - WRONG

• If it were that bad, they would just split up. - WRONG

 TDV is used by a person to harm, threaten, intimidate, or control another person in a dating relationship. TDV is a pattern of behavior that one partner exerts over the other to establish and maintain power and control over their partner.

TDV can also include threats to cause harm or cause bodily injury to someone, is sexually intimidating, causes physical damage to the property of another person and a lot more – far too many examples to list here.

The good news is that there are warning signs that will help you identify if you or someone you know is being subjected to TDV:

• Falling or failing grades

• Increased instances of indecision and refusing to give your own opinion

• Changes in mood or personality

• Use of drugs/alcohol, not just experimentation

• Emotional outbursts, not just mood swings

• Isolation, insisting on more privacy

• Signs of physical injury such as cuts and bruises

• Excuses being made for an abuser’s behavior

The Facts

• 33 percent of all teens have been affected by TDV

• 40 percent of teenage girls, ages 14 to 17, know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by their partner

• Nearly 80 percent of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser

• 1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse

 There’s so much more information that our community should know about how to identify TDV and what to do if you suspect a young person is a victim or a perpetrator.  If you have questions, go to www.loveisrespect.org